Wednesday, September 5, 2007

You know you're a Kung Fu Dork when....

Inspired by Qbertplaya's discovery of a geek hierarchy chart, she and Richu began creating a list for us kung fu dorks (or geeks or nerds). Ji and I pitched in as well, and we came up with so many that I don't have the mental ability organize them into a pretty chart, but here's what we got. Please add on in the comments.

...you train both Level 1 and Level 2 classes in a single day.
...you have your own staff.
...you own a staff but don't know a staff form.
...you scour YouTube for examples of kung fu.
...you eat #1 soup all the time.
...you create kung fu blogs.
...you contribute to kung fu blogs.
...you hold onto worn feiyues like trophies.
...you've actually read (and not just skimmed through) Shifu's book.
...you turn down social activities to train.
...your social activities involve training!
...you bring feiyues to the Hamptons.
...you have gone on a kung fu retreat.
...you have gone on a kung fu retreat in another country.
...you bring extra uniforms instead of regular clothes.
...you video record yourself doing kung fu.
...you video record others doing kung fu.
...you order your feiyues online and in bulk because you go through them so fast.
...you have a kung fu pose as buddy icon.
...you use "train harder" to refer to multiple aspects of life.
...you shave your head to be cooler (temperature-wise) while training.
...you own multiple New Temple New Life uniforms.
...you train three or more days in a row.
...you take gymnastics for "fun."
...you have ideas for kung fu t-shirt designs.
...you've slept at Temple.
...you sleep in the meditation room specifically.
...you have brought multiple guests to watch classes.
...you have gotten multiple people to try a class.
...you come to movie nights (and bring friends).
...you have a kung fu movie library.
...you've printed out and scotch taped the Temple Rules somewhere in your apartment.
...you talk about kung fu all day long.
...your IM list is made up of more than 50% Temple people.
...you only date people who train, or who have at least studied some kind of martial arts so they can hopefully understand your addiction to training.
...you give those who you date extra points depending on what kind of martial arts.
...you get excited at having a long weekend due to a holiday -- train harder!
...you consider using your vacation time so you can go to class more.
...you sit at work counting the minutes till class.
...you pester friends to go train.
...you make Level 2 on your very first testing.
...you do kung fu in the bathroom, elevator or hallway, or on a subway platform.
...you've made someone fall asleep by talking incessantly about kung fu.
...you've worn your uniform on the subway.
...you've done some kung fu as a party trick.
...you specifically seek out food that has more tendon.
...you introduce yourself to people outside of Temple using both your street name and your disciple name.
...you learn pinyin and tones so you can pronounce the names of the basics and forms properly.
...you answer the phone with "Amituofo" when a Temple friend is calling.
...you answer the phone with "Amituofo" when your mom is calling.
...you schedule your classes/work around training times.
...you've invested in some super strong laundry detergent for your uniforms. (Stinky winky!)
...you own a leg stretcher.
...your idea of training gear includes plastic bags.
...you bought a backpack based on it having a handy place to store feyiues.
...you started eating meat again.
...you think bald is BEAUTIFUL.
...you come up with categories for a kung fu dorks hierarchy.

13 comments:

  1. ..when your friends roll their eyes whenever you say train harder
    ..when your idea of fun involves a 3 man stretch
    ...when you can barely make it to work but make it to training
    ...when you take your feiyues with you on vacation & never take them off
    ..when you "amituofo" everyone & anyone despite puzzled looks
    ..when your idea of dress up includes your USAST tee or tank
    ..when you think all kung fu bodies are hot
    ..when figuring out what to do with your hair at training is the best thing ever
    ..when you look around at temple & think "god, i love these guys!"

    someone, stop me!

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  2. ...when you start saying "Amituofo" and make the gesture simultaneously in other types of training classes such as gymnastics.

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  3. ...you go through forms in your head to fall asleep instead of counting sheeps
    ...you use more chi, harder ummmm... train harder in bed

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  4. ...you use sheeps instead of sheep

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  5. of course sucheela, remember everything is meditation ;)

    what are the kung fu dorks heirarchies though i didn't get that one

    but yea more than probably 75% of those apply to me

    ReplyDelete
  6. ... you have lunch habits for training nights
    ... you make your own energy drink
    ... you use "Amituofo" like the Smurfs use "Smurf"
    ... you dont listen to heat index warnings
    ... you have kung fu videos in your ipod
    ... you memorized a Sutra or two
    ... you run to answer the door phone
    ... you trained during kids class
    ... you know sleepy style

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  7. i love the train harder in bed! that's awesome. action meditation, baby!

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  8. ...you eat Emergen-C right out of the packet.
    ...Thai Son waiters have a nickname for you.
    ...you only want to live in New York, Trinidad, Mexico or Austria.
    ...you do kung fu on dance floors.
    ...you have trained without socks.
    ...you bought a new uniform when you accidentally showed up without one.

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  9. ...you're thinking seriously about taking a trip to South Africa to visit some college friends and hope that they live near Shaolin Temple South Africa. Oh, and maybe see some animals or something.

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  10. ...you know the disciple names (and real names) of people you've never met
    ...you're a disciple and many people don't know your birth name
    ...you know the difference between number 1, level 2, and level 3 soups (level 3 is legendary and has only been eaten by 3 people i think)
    ...you own a monk bag and use it for things besides kung fu uniforms (school, work, etc.)
    ...you want to move to the upstate temple as soon as it's built
    ...you wish vests would be reinstated as an 'official uniform'

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  11. where can I get feyues in bulk online?

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  12. ...when you spend more time at work on kunfudorksunite.blogspot.com than you do on facebook.com
    ...when you compare your completion of kung fu dorks heirarchies to the completion of basic moves and forms - is there testing for this?

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  13. ...when you decide not to cut your hair unless shifu is your barber!

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