Wednesday, September 5, 2007

You know you're a Kung Fu Dork when....

Inspired by Qbertplaya's discovery of a geek hierarchy chart, she and Richu began creating a list for us kung fu dorks (or geeks or nerds). Ji and I pitched in as well, and we came up with so many that I don't have the mental ability organize them into a pretty chart, but here's what we got. Please add on in the comments. train both Level 1 and Level 2 classes in a single day. have your own staff. own a staff but don't know a staff form. scour YouTube for examples of kung fu. eat #1 soup all the time. create kung fu blogs. contribute to kung fu blogs. hold onto worn feiyues like trophies.'ve actually read (and not just skimmed through) Shifu's book. turn down social activities to train.
...your social activities involve training! bring feiyues to the Hamptons. have gone on a kung fu retreat. have gone on a kung fu retreat in another country. bring extra uniforms instead of regular clothes. video record yourself doing kung fu. video record others doing kung fu. order your feiyues online and in bulk because you go through them so fast. have a kung fu pose as buddy icon. use "train harder" to refer to multiple aspects of life. shave your head to be cooler (temperature-wise) while training. own multiple New Temple New Life uniforms. train three or more days in a row. take gymnastics for "fun." have ideas for kung fu t-shirt designs.'ve slept at Temple. sleep in the meditation room specifically. have brought multiple guests to watch classes. have gotten multiple people to try a class. come to movie nights (and bring friends). have a kung fu movie library.'ve printed out and scotch taped the Temple Rules somewhere in your apartment. talk about kung fu all day long.
...your IM list is made up of more than 50% Temple people. only date people who train, or who have at least studied some kind of martial arts so they can hopefully understand your addiction to training. give those who you date extra points depending on what kind of martial arts. get excited at having a long weekend due to a holiday -- train harder! consider using your vacation time so you can go to class more. sit at work counting the minutes till class. pester friends to go train. make Level 2 on your very first testing. do kung fu in the bathroom, elevator or hallway, or on a subway platform.'ve made someone fall asleep by talking incessantly about kung fu.'ve worn your uniform on the subway.'ve done some kung fu as a party trick. specifically seek out food that has more tendon. introduce yourself to people outside of Temple using both your street name and your disciple name. learn pinyin and tones so you can pronounce the names of the basics and forms properly. answer the phone with "Amituofo" when a Temple friend is calling. answer the phone with "Amituofo" when your mom is calling. schedule your classes/work around training times.'ve invested in some super strong laundry detergent for your uniforms. (Stinky winky!) own a leg stretcher.
...your idea of training gear includes plastic bags. bought a backpack based on it having a handy place to store feyiues. started eating meat again. think bald is BEAUTIFUL. come up with categories for a kung fu dorks hierarchy.


  1. ..when your friends roll their eyes whenever you say train harder
    ..when your idea of fun involves a 3 man stretch
    ...when you can barely make it to work but make it to training
    ...when you take your feiyues with you on vacation & never take them off
    ..when you "amituofo" everyone & anyone despite puzzled looks
    ..when your idea of dress up includes your USAST tee or tank
    ..when you think all kung fu bodies are hot
    ..when figuring out what to do with your hair at training is the best thing ever
    ..when you look around at temple & think "god, i love these guys!"

    someone, stop me!

  2. ...when you start saying "Amituofo" and make the gesture simultaneously in other types of training classes such as gymnastics.

  3. go through forms in your head to fall asleep instead of counting sheeps use more chi, harder ummmm... train harder in bed

  4. use sheeps instead of sheep

  5. of course sucheela, remember everything is meditation ;)

    what are the kung fu dorks heirarchies though i didn't get that one

    but yea more than probably 75% of those apply to me

  6. ... you have lunch habits for training nights
    ... you make your own energy drink
    ... you use "Amituofo" like the Smurfs use "Smurf"
    ... you dont listen to heat index warnings
    ... you have kung fu videos in your ipod
    ... you memorized a Sutra or two
    ... you run to answer the door phone
    ... you trained during kids class
    ... you know sleepy style

  7. i love the train harder in bed! that's awesome. action meditation, baby!

  8. eat Emergen-C right out of the packet.
    ...Thai Son waiters have a nickname for you. only want to live in New York, Trinidad, Mexico or Austria. do kung fu on dance floors. have trained without socks. bought a new uniform when you accidentally showed up without one.

  9.'re thinking seriously about taking a trip to South Africa to visit some college friends and hope that they live near Shaolin Temple South Africa. Oh, and maybe see some animals or something.

  10. know the disciple names (and real names) of people you've never met're a disciple and many people don't know your birth name know the difference between number 1, level 2, and level 3 soups (level 3 is legendary and has only been eaten by 3 people i think) own a monk bag and use it for things besides kung fu uniforms (school, work, etc.) want to move to the upstate temple as soon as it's built wish vests would be reinstated as an 'official uniform'

  11. where can I get feyues in bulk online?

  12. ...when you spend more time at work on than you do on
    ...when you compare your completion of kung fu dorks heirarchies to the completion of basic moves and forms - is there testing for this?

  13. ...when you decide not to cut your hair unless shifu is your barber!