Just Friggin' Do It!

Ok, I'll admit it. Last night about an hour before class I was feeling a teeny tiny bit of dread going to Temple. Maybe it was because I felt low on chi, my job was stressing me out, I had friends coming later that evening from out of town so I was nervous about getting home before they got to my apartment, the rat situation at my local Au Bon Pain was grossing me out, or that the last time I went to a class that Shifu taught I got raked over the coals.... Whatever it was, it all resulted in this feeling of ick, and I was letting it seep into my thoughts. I IMed Sucheela about it, and you know what she told me? Train Harder!

Sucheela couldn't go last night because she had a friend's birthday party to go to. And every once in a while, I'll have a similar obligation, or there's some work deadline I must meet, which keeps me from going to class. I have to remind myself that I am so lucky to be able to train whenever I can, so I mustn't let these soggy feelings (can you tell it's pouring outside as I write this?) be an excuse. Every time we can go, we build towards something better and bigger.

So, last night, training proved to be superfantastiche, as always. I managed to get through class without hearing Shifu yelling my name, and practiced forms with the gang, even the wee bit of erluquan I learned for the first time on Tuesday, as sheepish as I felt. And to top it off, Shifu broke us up into small groups again to learn more forms, so Jeremy, Shi (Jose) and I learned a little bit more of erluquan together. Yay!!!

Silly Qbertplaya, why did I even question whether I wanted to go? MORE CHI!!

At last...

A nice bounceback from Saturday's tough class -- I started erluquan tonight!!!

Oh, happy day!

Woooooooooooo!!!!!!!

Okay, now I go to bed...

I Heart Training: The ? vs. the !

I still have a sword in my buttcheek, and repetitions of Erluquan are making my lower back sing a constant dull ache.

But amidst all of that, I have been feeling pleasure from watching people at Temple, who started training well after I did, advance quickly and beautifully.

And amidst all of THAT, I felt particular pleasure on Saturday, when, for the first time, Shifu asked me to teach someone. What an absolute honor. And, predictably, through that experience, I ended up learning quite a bit myself.

What surprised me the most, was that the humility I felt at being asked to teach someone else, far outweighed the normal humility I feel when I am corrected... or, shall we say, sharply urged on, during the normal course of training.

I realized that when I am moving in demonstration before Shifu, or anyone, as I am being watched, my movements bear a question mark, particularly while I am first feeling my way through a form. But when my movements were intended to provide an answer to someone else, I found it necessary to summon strength and confidence, sharpness and extension, and found, resultingly, that my movements instead bore an exclamation point.

What I learned from my teaching experience was this: that in transforming a question into an exclamation, the curve of the question mark is forced to unbend-- POW!-- and to extend-- BAM! and that is where I found the answer: in the length, the explosion, the strength-- in the pure power, gushing forth, entirely, infinitely, from within.

And oh yeah... another lesson? I still, and always will, have a lot to learn!

Amituofo.