It's good to be back

Taking a break has its own benefit. For one thing, my knees were pain free until I started training again. But it's good to be back. To see people I know and with whom I have at least one thing in common. To feel welcome.

Tonight was my third class after being away for one and a half months. The pain and stiffness were still there. The flexibility hasn't come back. The first 20 kicks still hurt like hell. But it's OK. There was chi in the air. At the front of the lines, there were Xu, Khalid, Zhou, Randy and moneyfoot. It was beautiful and inspiring watching them training - especially when it's time for Tengkong Fanyao.

After the class, Heng Zhou's parents and sister showed up. They were such delightful people. One bit of wisdom from Zhou's mom that kept coming up in my head: She said she learned a lot since Zhou he started training. It's not because he brought anything new to the table. It's because they started talking more about the meanings and reasons for things. Subjects that everybody already realized but never brought up. Just by talking about it makes you learn.

Test Prep

Yesterday was disciple ceremony, and as a result, class was cut a little short. But not before I was able to pound through some forms with re-ignited chi.

It was strange, I didn’t get all that much sleep, and I was pretty sure I was coming down with a cold (confirmed today) but there was no way I’d skip out on class before Disciple Ceremony, especially when I had only been to 3 classes this week. Heng Mo and I met up to walk to the train together and both of us were feeling a fair amount of indigestion from the unaccustomedly obscene amount of meat we ate at Qbertplaya’s BBQ birthday the day before. Our one consolation was that, at least the meat might give us chi (if we didn’t get sick first…).

I guess it worked because we both agreed that it was an excellent class. When forms time came I was able to attack them with a level of chi that I had been lacking since coming back from China. Or maybe we were both just feeling the chi in anticipation of Disciple Ceremony. But it was a relief, because with testing coming up, feeling exhausted during forms is not a good sign. Only so much endurance can be regained in 3 weeks. I am really looking forward to testing both XHQ and DHQ, but they are not walks in the park, so I will need all the preparatory chi I can get!

Back to Back

I love our Shaolin community. When packing up after work yesterday I saw two new voice messages on my cell. The first, was from fellow dork Heng Mo’s boyfriend, who was locked out of their apartment. (Mo and I also happen to be neighbors so I have her keys. Sadly, I wasn’t around to be helpful. Still, it was a nice reminder of our compatriotism.) The second was from fellow China-traveler Livia, who had just finished taking day class. The contents were, roughly, “Oh my God class was so rough! I know you trained yesterday, I wanted to see if it was as bad for you!”

Livia has more chi than several people combined, so if she was tired you know it must have been rough. No worries, Livia, you were indeed echoing my sentiments from Sunday. As I touched on in my last post, because of weird jet lag, I was up at 6 am Sunday, so decided to hit training and get it out of the way. In spite of appearances, we didn’t actually do that much “training” in China. We learned a lot, we hiked a lot of mountains. But none of it was really comparable to training an intense 2 hour class. And combined with the amount of un-nutritious eating and hours and hours of being sedentary on buses and trains, well, it didn’t spell for a triumphant return to training. All in all, her message, combined with the previous day’s training, left me with an ominous feeling as I headed to Level 2 last night.

As 6:45 rolled around and warm bodies remained scarce, I was really wondering where everyone was. I knew that Sunday I would probably be the only lunatic to come train. (Actually, Zhou was there too. More chi!) And I knew Monday might be somewhat sparse, but again, only one other China comrade, Richu, was in attendance. Now, I am not feeling superior for being stupid/crazy enough to train two days back to back immediately after disembarking a 13 hour flight. I was scared about what would happen if I started procrastinating. Plus, I missed it. And, in the end, despite the dubious mindset I went in with last night, class was more mentally enjoyable than it had been for awhile before leaving. I couldn't move so well this morning, but that's the price you pay.

Tonight, I'm not training, making sure that I get back in the swing methodically and without injury. (Plus I am still not totally unpacked…) But mentally, I would still love to go. There are lots of folks I have yet to see since returning, and there is much to review, both from the trip and in preparation for impending testing. But rest is probably wise.

Long story short, it hurts, but it’s great to be home!

China

Well, I know everyone was hoping for consistent, exciting updates from our journey into the Middle Kingdom, and when it became apparent that wasn't going to happen, began eagerly anticipating the promised deluge of posting that would follow quickly on the heels of my return. Now, you're patiently making excuses for me (jet lag, unpacking) for why I haven't yet provided the details on the China training. You're reading this now with joy and wondering when the heck I'll get on with it and talk about training. Here's the thing, there is just too much to even begin trying to capture it all in blog posts. Even when I leave out the stuff not strictly kung-fu related there is more than I can wrap my brain around telling everyone, and I feel inadequate to convey what happened without losing a lot in translation. I'm overwhelmed just thinking where to begin.

I can tell you that I learned eagle claw and sword, and that others learned tiger, mantis, and 7 star fist. But just from that I could devote an entire post to describing what eagle feels like, or what it's like to be taught by an instructor who doesn't speak any English. I could wax poetic for pages about the wushu schools, and watching the armies of children training on expanses of bare dirt doing rapid fire caijiaos and butterfly twists and intense stretching exercises. I have a whole post in my head about watching our instructors at Sifu's brother's school do 10 backflips in a row and suicides on a cement floor, jumping higher than any of us could if we had a sprung floor under us. I could talk about how we couldn't drink the tap water so I was never fully hydrated. How it felt to train with perpetual low grade indigestion.

Then there's all the spiritual moments. Climbing Drum Mountain at the Shaolin Temple; seeing the places we hear about in Buddhism class. I want to talk about the irony of watching a monk talking on a cell phone and the different feelings and thoughts that evokes. Or seeing the classic monk-coming-down-Bell-Mountain-stairs-on-hands-and-feet. Then there's the experience of meeting our Sifu's Sifu and how surreal that felt.

I can talk about the bizarre jet lag that had me training yesterday, about how totally whipped I was in class and how much endurance I lost in two weeks. the list is endless. So why don't I? Instead of summing up all the things I COULD talk about, why don't I just talk about them, you wonder? Besides it being an overwhelming amount of blogging, besides not wanting to bore the pants of everyone, and besides feeling unable to do it justice, honestly, I myself haven't totally absorbed everything or straightened out all my thoughts and feeling about everything I did and saw. Note the excessive run-on sentences in this post.

So, while I set it all in order in my mind, I invite you to ask any questions that I hope I can compile into a single "Answers here" post. For the rest of it, expect lots of anecdotes and references to crop up as I move forward in my posts. I beg your patience in this endeavor. In a way it's like looking at my photos, looking at them all en masse can never convey the experience and deadens your senses, whereas seeing one picture has its own story and its own impact it couldn't otherwise have. At the same time, the single picture isn't enough to express the whole trip. So as I move forward it will be like seeing the photos a few at a time, and I think it will provide the best story.

Learning to Fly

Before we learned to walk, we all repeatedly fell down over and over again until we were able to develop our muscles and coordination to the point where we can balance ourselves precariously on two feet. It is after millenniums of evolution that humans have become one of a handful of creatures that has chosen to walk on it's hind legs. And now, I'm on a quest to further that evolution. I want to aerial, butterfly twist, and TengKongWaiBaiLiang as my only mode of travel from Point A to Point B.

I feel like a child learning to walk again. Oooo...boy! I sure have the bruises to prove it too. On Wednesday night Level 2 class, I walked in and both John and Heng Ji (Branden) said to me, "So you landed an aerial, eh? Let's see it!" They proceeded to pull out the big mats for us to play on. We had about 20 minutes worth of jumping and fumbling through the air trying our best to land our aerials and butterfly twists. None of us landed it but it was nice to have the mats and not have to worry about landing too hard on the ground. It does pose an interesting question. Is it better to learn how to land it on a mat, build the confidence there and then land without it? Or is it better to venture out onto the real surface where we will be doing the aerial anyway? I suppose it comes down to personal preference. Do you want bruises now or later? You are going to fall a few times. It's a fact. It's overcoming that fear of self-preservation. It's letting it all go and just fly. During class, I put that philosophy to the test. Heng De let us do BaiWangZaiKui for about 10 minutes. I think the way I was falling was scaring some people. "Leo, when you land fall, it's like seeing and hearing a sack of potatoes fall on the ground. Ka-Boom! But you do it with no fear though. I don't know if I can do that..."

My body is still a little battered today. I am not sure if it is from the falling or my muscles getting used a new way of coordination and use. I would like to think it's the latter because if I let my fear control me, I will never be able to fly. It really isn't about the falling down. It's about the getting back up and trying again after you just failed. But maybe I should invest in some protection, just in case. A wearable airbag. I sure could use that!

Even though I wince in pain every step I take, I can't wait to get out there and learn to fly again.

Riding on the Wings of Victory

The Aerial. I did it. I landed one.

After seeing it all my life in kung fu movies, tv shows and acrobatic tumbling routines, I did something on Friday I've never thought I would be able to do. I landed my own aerial.

It's not that I never thought I would be able to do it. Lots of people can do it. Most of the senior Level 2's can. I remember one of my first classes at the Temple when Heng Li was leading the line and we were doing 側手翻 (CeShouFan). He did aerials oh-so-casually all the way down the line. And if you know Li, when I say "casual", I mean FULL of chi. :) My fancy took flight and I told myself, "If I trained harder, maybe I'll get there too."

It's been a year and a half since that day and I have evolved physically, mentally, and spiritually. I've been feeling and witnessing exponential growth within me. Friday was the day I tasted my first freedom and learned to fly. That's exactly what an aerial is. It's suspended animation gliding through the air. It's as if a mini-worm hole was created and the laws of physics and gravity no longer applied. For that split second, time stopped and the world ceased to exist. I was in a moment of total amazement and bliss. The next second came and the world came rushing back. All I heard was the class exploding in clapping and cheers. I landed one. My very first.

I've been on the cusp many times. But, right when I get to the vertical point, doubt would creep in and I would reach out my hands and fall back down. Not holding out your hands to touch the ground takes courage and fearlessness. You have to believe that your head won't get smashed on the ground. You have to believe that your body has enough momentum to carry you over the 90 degree point. You have to believe in yourself.

I've had horrendous pain in my neck and spine in the past two weeks. I'm not really sure how I got it but it just wouldn't go away. Now I know what that was. It was the blossoming of my wings of victory.

So long, farewell.

I can’t pull two thoughts together for this post because I’m going to CHINA tomorrow. It’s so exciting, intimidating, and downright exhausting thinking of what is in store for us there. I hope to be able to keep the blog fairly well updated with the training over there. But if not, expect a deluge of posts when we return in two weeks. I am going to go with no expectations except for adventure, and hopefully, will come back with all kinds of brilliant philosophical and kung fu insights. Or at least come back with some fun souvenirs and good photos.

Training last night, I got to thinking about how different classes will be for everyone still here with so many of us gone. And I realized, that while taking 21 people out of the mix will affect the numbers somewhat, there is such a strong group of new folks that the absence of those China-bound will not be felt that drastically. And while, I like being missed, I am glad to think that temple won’t be a ghost town while we're away. See you all soon!

Aaaaand we're BACK

Last night, the first half of L2 was an hour and 15 minutes long. Not the first time and I'm sure not the last. but then, we only had six minutes of stretch break before we started again. As the third to go in the wall stretch, I had just enough time to sit down before I heard "Line up!" no great tragedy. I was actually able to waibaitui much stronger having not just strained my hip flexors in the stretch. But when I woke up this morning, I felt the full force of what had happened. Absolutely ZERO stretching.

I go through phases stretching. Sometimes I come home and it's the first thing I do. Or I do it hot from the shower, or when I wake up. Sometimes I have a routine, sometimes I just hop out of bed, touch my toes and run to work. The hour before training I spend a good bit stretching. It feels great after sitting at a desk all day. My recent laziness, culminating with no stretch last night, resulted in an unforeseen level of soreness today. Some muscle around my knee that never hurt before was berating me the whole walk to work. I forgot how quickly you return to sore muscles when you take time off. More importantly, I forgot the crucial message I always give first timers - you MUST stretch. So I'm going to keep this short so that I don't get too comfortable here, and I'm gonna go make amends to my now VERY sore legs.
I do love it though. It's a sign I'm getting back in the groove.

Sloth Style

Last week, I became a master of a rare animal form- one so closely guarded, only a few people have every had the chance to see it, let alone learn it. But I can now name myself amongst the few who have perfected this rare art: sloth style.

In the past we've talked about how KF can be so addictive, that you go into over-training mode without realizing it. You have to take a serious step back and assess yourself when you might be injured. It got to where the only way I could keep myself from training, and rest my body, was to leave all my gear at home.

Then somewhere in the middle of the summer I got deluged with activities and obligations and I was only making it three times a week. "That's okay," I told myself. "Three is still plenty to maintain." then I needed a week of rest. Or two. And I was still only getting three a week. "That's okay. You need to let your brain reboot also." Then I hurt my back and it all went downhill. "That's okay, you don't want to seriously injure yourself, you want to be healthy for the China trip." The voice in my head continued to smother my guilt. A back injury is really hard to push through, because it affects nearly every move you do and you end up so frustrated and in pain that it really is a downer to even come to class. But I knew I couldn't use that excuse forever. Still... "That's okay," the voice in my head continued to reassure me. "Reboot yourself. You have the rest of your life." Stupid devil on my shoulder. Never listen to that little voice. It's the siren song of your doom.

Suddenly, China deployment is this Saturday and I only trained ONCE last week. What the heck?!?! I came to Level Two ready to punish myself, but I realized I lost the chance weeks ago. Somewhere in there, I crossed over from the training addiction to the laziness addiction. Now, I'm glad I realized some balance in my life, and got other extracurriculars going. And I really had a blast this summer. But ONCE? It's amazing how quickly you find the joy of sitting on the sofa and reading for hours, or wasting a lazy sunday in the coffee shop and the park.

This is exactly why I over-trained. Because I knew as soon as I allowed myself the possibility of not training just because, that I would rapidly slide into sloth. Moderation is not a strong point of mine, and balancing in the middle has always been tough. Now suddenly I am slow and heavy and sloppy; my endurance is shot. I'm not sore, but what does that get me? I have to be
representing in China in just a few short days.

Hopefully, tonight's training will help kick start a successful week's prelude. While it won't have me back jumping higher and moving faster, at least I can re-coordinate and sharpen what I've got. And heck, whatever happens, I'm gonna be in Ch-Ch-Ch-China! Maybe everyone else will be learning mantis and tiger, but I'll show them something they never saw before. Sloth Claw!

Sources of Inpiration

Thanks, Cheng, for your inspired call to action! I've been half-writing this post in my head for a bit now without committing any words on my keyboard, but now your poem compelled me to push it out... :)

Anyway, now that I've been training for a bit over 2.5 years now (and still stuck in L1), I am not learning anything "new" per se, so I strive to improve what I already do know by trying to make things sharper, doing actions faster, and so forth. Something that has been sort of a nemesis to me is trying to avoid taking steps in between kicks. Shifu has called me out on it so many times, and it really hit me hard this past Spring. I think I've made some progress in erasing this terrible habit of mine through a long process of almost having to re-learn by observing others, by changing my sense of balance, and by reminding myself that it's not about doing it fast, but doing it correctly. Constant evolution!

Recently, at the 100 day ceremony for Heng Ju, I saw Niederwelt's 5 year old niece Nina spinning cartwheels like it was nobody's business -- she effortlessly did one after another without any pauses or steps across the green carpet much to the amusement of herself and others. It really was ceshou-fun!

The next week I attended a day class and while we were doing ceshoufans during basics, I heard Xu call to me not to take extra steps. Buoyed by my memory of Nina a few days earlier, I tried it out, and wheeeee! boy, did those ceshoufans come whipping by faster! In fact, I felt like I was moving so much quicker that I almost lost my sense of balance and came tumbling down. I guess like with everything, I'm just gonna have to readjust and recalibrate. Oh, and maybe attempt ceshoufan again from the other side...yeahhhhhhh.......

Speaking of observing others, in recent classes I attended, I have noticed a new young fellow who has yet to learn all the basics, but does the most wonderful tenkong fanyaos. I don't know his name (yet) but I am inspired by how fluidly he leaps into the air and rotates. He is gazelle-like and strikes me as a dancer. I shall have to study his movements more and hopefully something will seep into my own labored tengkong fanyao.

It goes to show that you never know when you'll find something from which to learn.