Everybody Hurts

P-Push It Real Good!

I've been trying to maintain a strong sense of patience during my road to recovery with my screwed-up knee. When I came back on December 1st after two months off from kung fu, I knew my endurance was shot, so I made myself to go to the side for kung fu kindergarten each time so that I could restore my confidence in executing all the basics again. It felt a bit funny since for so long I would normally spend the first part of class trying to avoid getting sent to KFK, but then I cherished the opportunity to re-learn and refine and rebuild.

I enforced upon myself mandatory KFK until January 1st. I thought a good month of KFK would give me enough time to work up to practicing forms again on the side. And that's what happened; I rejoined the gang on the side, and felt energized by their encouragement, and slowly built up my strength. My first attempt at erluquan in months made me happy, but nervous, and it showed in my execution -- Shifu saw me from across the room and looked puzzled at what I was doing, but it was all good.

So, I ended up setting little goals/timelines for myself, and every little thing I found myself doing again that I had difficulty doing earlier in my return, I considered a nice victory. It is as though I have been doing a mini review of everything I had learned from Day 1 till the end of erluquan, which I had finished just before I injured myself. And most recently, I have been polishing erluquan, which I am eager to test in April. I have been especially concerned about nailing the sweep kick, which initially gave me flashback anxieties, but now all I care about is not sticking my ass in the air.

This week, however, I kinda let the patience thing slide. I originally decided that I'd give myself till the end of February to practice erluquan slowly and deliberately by breaking it up into pieces, and not worrying about doing it in its entirety. This past Tuesday some irrepressible urge seized me and pushed me into going past the 5th kick, which is usually where I break. I found myself going, going, going, and before I knew it, I was dizzy and out of breath, but I made it through a whole erluquan. And I did it again that class. And I did it again last night.

It is a truly fantastic feeling to know that we all have these amazing abilities within us -- the ability to motivate, to learn, to perfect, to think. And while I know I possessed these skills before my journey with shaolin kung fu began, it gives me a sense of pure happiness when I realize it better through understanding what hard work can really accomplish.

Notes from the D.L.

Man, it has been a while since the last time I posted here. Most of you have heard by now that during the last class I attended on September 29th, I twisted my knee doing a sweep kick in erluquan. It happened towards the end of class, and I had been feeling the chi, mostly because my parents showed up to watch class. I guess I was trying extra hard to show off or something.

I was kind of an emotional wreck the next few days. At first, I was soooo disappointed -- I had just finished learning erluquan, and I was all geared up to test for it the following weekend. I was eager to show Shifu all my hard work.

When a visit to the orthopaedist for x-rays and an MRI suggested that I might be dealing with a torn something-or-other, I went from disappointed to scared. Not only was I dreading the prospects of surgery, but I faced a possible recovery time of 8-10 months before I could even think about returning to kung fu. Yikes!

Happily, the results of the MRI a week later showed that nothing was torn; I had sustained a major sprain to a knee I've hurt before years ago from basketball. So, thankfully, I am looking at a shorter recovery time and have dodged the surgery bullet.

I am going to physical therapy twice a week, and every time I go, they give me more and more little exercises to strengthen my inner quadricep muscle to stabilize my kneecap in its groove. While those exercises may pale in comparison to what we accomplish at Temple, part of my training now is to recognize that this too is part of training. And it's working; every day I do feel a little stronger.

So what now? People have asked how long will it be before I train again, and it's a beautiful thing to know that so many friends are rooting for your speedy recovery. At first, I said to them, "Oh, hopefully a month and a half, two months at most." But ever since I started physical therapy last week, I have decided merely to say, "We'll see. I'm taking it day by day."

A knee injury is nothing to sneeze at! I will be sure to take however long I need to ensure a full recovery, and to be dilligent about doing my exercises. And while I miss the thrill of pushing my body to the max and seeing all of my fellow dorks, I need to exercise patience training, which can be most difficult. I need to do what's right for Qbertplaya and her busted knee, so that when she comes back, she will be ready to attack (if even only from the side line)!

Me, Myself and I

For those of you who actually read this blog, you might have realized that my fellow dork Hannah and I have been pretty much neck and neck in terms of progressing through erluquan, and it's been a blast supporting each other for each little bit. I love the way during forms practice how we cheer each other on, especially for the dreaded sweep.

Then, this past Saturday, Hannah had the good fortune of being plucked by Shifu from the line to work with Richu on erluquan for thirty minutes. Figuring she and I were at the same spot in erluquan more or less, I went over to Shifu and asked him if I could join them, and he flat out said no. I have to admit, I felt a little dejected by his denial of my request, but I rejoined the line and decided to trudge on in practicing what I have learned already. Happily, about ten minutes later, Shifu called De over to work on erluquan with me, and that lifted my spirits. Shifu told De what I specifically needed to work on -- injecting more chi/extension into my moves. I realized then that although Hannah and I are about the same in terms of progress through erluquan, we each have different things to refine, so to lump us together would not necessarily benefit either of us. In the end, I was happy to have received one-on-one attention from De so we could focus specifically on my kung fu.

So it got me thinking -- while for the most part, I've been pretty good about understanding that what we do is not necessarily competitive and we are to view ourselves as individuals, lately, because I've been so parallel in terms of learning with Hannah recently, I lost sight of that concept. I felt a slight tinge of jealousy that she got to the five kicks (a major milestone!) the other day even though I was also very psyched for her. So I've had to remind myself -- it's not about what my fellow dorks are doing, it's about what I'm doing, and nothing else. Just me, myself and I.

Hannah made a commitment to herself recently to train harder until testing, which includes going to class 4x a week, which is so awesome. I dabbled in doing the 4x thing a bit last year but realized that on the weekend, I really need a day off to tend to other areas of my life, especially with the oncoming stench of my job around the corner. I am very content to train only three times a week, and I have to remember that just the fact that Hannah trains an extra class a week means she'll probably charge forth faster, and I applaud her for it. And the path I've chosen is what's right for me. I have to reinforce all of this in my head constantly, especially now that I might have given myself a new shaolin butt sword, but this time on the other side!

Anyway, last night, not too long after we started up forms practice, Shifu came over and grabbed a lot of us to work on forms, and I once again got paired up with De (yay!) to work on erluquan. I learned all the way up through five kicks! Well, mostly -- four out of the five kicks ain't bad!

WE'RE BACK!!!

(Please update your bookmark/feed to http://kungfudorksunite.blogspot.com/! AMITUOFO!)

Status Quo -- Ouch!

After Tuesday's class, I wrote about a nagging Shaolin sword injury that has plagued me for the last few weeks. To detail it better, I've found that the Shaolin sword appears when I'm extending my right leg out straight and at an angle, so a little pain comes when i'm doing caijiao, lunbi caijiao and zhengtitui fully, and during cetitui, waibaitaui and lihetui, cos they involve some kind of rotation/angling of that leg, but it is most apparent during pubu, most likely because I am actually putting my weight on it. I am frustrated because if I do pubu and dip to my left, I can extend my hand to my foot quite easily now, but going to my right, I cannot dip down all the way and am hesitant to shoot my palm past my knee. Gong bu seems okay. The actual pain itself? I feel like some fingers are digging into my leg just under my right buttcheek and pinching really tight. Curiously enough, when I am just walking around, I feel no trace of my injury.

So during yesterday's training, I once again struggled a bit with finding the right balance of training to build up my chi versus being careful not to injure myself further. Not easy! I deliberately got in line last for basics to force myself to slow down so I wouldn't feel the pressure of anyone at my back. I started out doing kicks with my right leg at half mast, but then for the later kicks, I opted to work only the left leg, forgoing any further lifting of the bum leg. During stretching, I did what I could by myself and tried to do a little with my right leg. For forms, I did what I could as well, avoiding dropping into a full pubu on that side during yiluquan and doing a full kick, which must have looked a little funny to those who might have watched me.

It's not easy because I love training and putting my all into it without thinking too much about whether or not to go full chi, whereas now, I have to be careful not to let my right leg fly. Focus and control are even more key. Also, being last in line means slowing down significantly as I am behind people who started training after me. And while I do not consider myself fast by any means, even in my injured state, I am able to go faster for some of the basics and have the endurance to use more of the carpet, so it's caused me to be even more mindful of others who are training near me.

All this slowing down has made me appreciate the fact that I have indeed progressed in the fifteen months or so that I've been training. It also forces me to know my body and listen to when it's going OW! I guess it's another instance where I've got to be patient and allow myself to progress at a pace that's right for me.

State of da Qbertplaya

No specific lessons or observations to write down lately, much like the time Mo put forth some Thought Points. Here are just some of my recent thoughts:

1. Lately I too have been struggling with a Shaolin sword poking just under my right butt cheek. During wall stretch a few weeks ago, something got pulled funny and the pull has limited my ability to do pubu on that side and some kicks properly. I am always optimistic when I start class that it'll feel okay, but after a few caijiaos on my right side, I then only work the left leg at full range. I wonder if I should avoid doing anything with my right leg as much as possible, or if I should do half-range kicks to prevent an imbalance, or what. Any advice?

2. Last night after we had been doing forms for a while, Shifu came through to put selected people into groups to learn more of the various forms. He picked Jaka and Hannah R. to work on the beginning of erluquan, and because I was standing next to Jaka and I haven't gotten that far in the form, I thought he wanted me to join their group as well, but he told me to get back in line. I experienced a teeny moment of disappointment until he told Joshua to work with me (and just me) on more erluquan, and so I did get a little bit further. Yay! So, yes, Q., be patient...

3. This past Saturday, I tested for yiluquan with a fun bunch of people, including my fellow dorks, Sucheela and Mo. I felt better about testing this time than I did six months ago, but I still couldn't get away without a Shifu comment specific to me! I've been trying not to think too much about whether I'll pass or not. Ultimately, I am satisfied that I tried my best last Saturday (especially with said Shaolin sword), and I'm always working hard in class. I guess we'll find out soon enough on Sunday at the certificate ceremony!

TRAIN HARDER!