Speed!

"Work on your speed!"

Lately I feel like the sentence has been directed at me quite frequently during the basic drill. I thought I got it. It's not that I need to move from one end of the carpet to the other faster. It's that I need to do more kicks faster. And the key to kick faster is to relax. This might not sound sensible but it worked for me. A lot of the kicks that we do are for blocking. The power should be on the way down. With these kicks, there is only a split second that I activate my legs, butt and hip to propel my kicking leg down. Then it's back to being relax into the next kick.

I felt like I got pretty good at it. But of course, training never stops.

Today I was told to work on my speed again - this time with Xubu.

What? Xubu? The empty stance?

Hearing that, I made my steps between stances faster. I almost ran from one end to the other. But that, of course, wasn't what Shifu's speed meant. Speed is never moving from point A to B faster but putting more power into each stances.

Fortunately, I was shown how to do it. I was to snap my arms, body, legs and head from looking back to the front faster. Doing it this way, I felt my stance 10 times more powerful and also about 11 times more exhausting.

I thought I had Xubu in the bag. But no. I need to train harder.

Sore No More?

I’m not that sore.

(Knock on wood.)

(Actually, let’s knock on wood a second time just in case.)

It’s so weird, but 4 days of training in a row, after a week off, and I’m not feeling as stiff or pained or injured or throbbing as I have come to expect in my training experience. I felt a little bit drained physically last night, but I still felt I had a lot of chi. My back hurts a little, but that is probably more from my soft mattress than the kung fu. Why do I not feel, well, frankly, worse?

(Knock on wood a third time for good measure. Also maybe throw salt over your shoulder or whatever other good superstitions you have at your disposal.)

Talking to Sucheela last night I wondered, “Am I not pushing myself hard enough?” I mean, one can always push harder and train farther, but I don’t feel that I’m taking it easy on myself these days. Admittedly, sometimes I don’t get in as many kicks as I should going down the carpet. But that’s because I have been focusing on putting maximum chi into each one. And while those things should be united, not exclusive, I certainly can’t pin that as the source of my non-soreness.

Why am I worrying? Not being sore is a GOOD thing. Why question when good things come to you? Maybe I’m too cynical and I am expecting a dreadful backlash. Maybe I don’t have enough confidence in my ability to increase strength and stamina. It’s sick, I was almost excited last night when I thought I felt some shin splints starting (they weren’t). I guess, the real answer is twofold: 1) my body is ready to push through to training at the next level, and 2) I am not used to exceeding my own expectations. I guess that means I should set them higher and then I won’t be so disconcerted when I am able to sleep like a log without waking up doing caijiaos. That's what we call "normal."

Semi-pro?

Ok, so I know that I'm not training to be a shaolin master, or compete in Ninja Warrior or the UFC and wushu isn't even an Olympic sport, so I shouldn't feel compelled to train 7 - or even 4 - days a week. I'm not looking to make a career or compete in kung fu. This means I have the rest of my life to train and don't need to be in a hurry to master something if I would rather take the night off and do... whatever normal people do on a night off.

But what if I want to train that much? Today, there was nothing doing at work and I thought I would slip out for another double, just for fun. But in debating it with myself I came to the fairly rational conclusion that I was already sore and I had already trained S/M/T, and I didn't want to be beat for L2, or worse, injure myself over-training right before the retreat.

Talking with Richu, he once told me if you're crazy enough you can train through pain. My pain tolerance is low I guess. When something hurts I can't be a stoic and I'm paranoid about injury having thus far avoided anything serious. That makes it hard for me to determine when I actually DO need a break. Around day 4 when the muscles are throbbing and joints are aching I think I need to give them a night off to rebuild and recover, even if what I want to do is go to class. Logic and the study of human physiology say this is reasonable and wise. My embittered and stubborn ego says it is weak and complaining and I should suck it up and train harder if I want to get stronger. Everyone else trains through tiredness and soreness and I am just being a martyr... Where's the line for fanaticism?

But seriously, I am struggling with finding the balance that works for my mind, my body and my ambitions. I WANT to be able to train more without feeling like a lead weight, but the class after a night or two off feels so much better than the fourth night in a row. But if I take nights off how will I ever get stronger and be able to train those day classes on a whim without worrying about a potential over-training injury? I can't afford a full time masseuse and chiropractor like a professional athlete. and I don't want to be a professional athlete. But I don't want to be an amateur either just dabbling around. I know that if I want to excel I have to do more concerted training outside of class, but I don't want to be an all consumed workout-aholic. I do have other interests... Stop laughing. I DO. They're just not as interesting... Oh well, as we say, train harder. Just do it. More chi. And so on.