Crocodile Kick

We had 7 people in the class today - including Heng Han who taught the class. It was a treat. Because the class was so small, Han let us, newbies, tried almost everything. I got to do all kinds of fancy kicks and at the end learned Qianbaitui Houbaitui - which I think is the fanciest of them all.

It goes roughly like this: you kick with one leg inward in the front and then whip the other leg to finish a circle.

We have similar kick in Muay Thai where you whip your hind leg to attack. It's called Jorake Faad Haang which means crocodile tail thrash or whip or something similar.

I couldn't really do it right. I was told I needed to extend more. Maybe the next time I try, I'll imagine my legs crocodile's tail.

Yay! New Bruise!

This time it's at the inner side of my right ankle from trying to Lihetui but couldn't.

:)

I haven't had bruises from training for a while. Maybe I didn't train that much. Maybe I got better at what I had learned.

Anyway, the bruise hurts but I like it.

Welcome Back!

It's good to be back. Vacation was very nice. Returning to people I care about and I know care about me is nicer. I was dreading going to train after 3 weeks off. But with a little encouragement from Heng Cheng, I made it. And I made it through the 2 very-difficult-to-breathe hours.

Waking up tomorrow should be fun. I can't wait to see which muscle group will hurt the most.

Entering the country for the first time with my brand new green card, I got Welcome Back! from the nice immigration officer. I thought that was cute. Nobody said that to me when I had a visa. They just took my pictures and finger prints suspecting that I might be a terrorist.

It's different at the temple. I have always got a Welcome Back! here. It feels nice to always be welcome and be missed. I got a hug from Heng Cheng and Heng De, a kiss from Heng Mo, a smile from Richu and Heng Huang and "Oh Sucheela is here. Welcome Back!" from Shifu.

I promise I will train harder.

Training mini marathon

I'm taking the day off. My ass hurts. My back hurts. My hips, hamstrings, quads, knees, ankles, shins, feet, and calves hurt. Basically my everything hurts. Yesterday was my 7th day of training in a row. I was determined to get a whole week done, even though really it's as arbitrary a number as any. But I wanted to say I had done it, even if it meant it would hurt. I just wanted to train hard as I could. I always said I wished I could train every day and now is my opportunity. It was sort of like an extended version of class and far as the mental and physical pushing of myself. And it definitely helped reveal things to me about why and how I train.

I spent a large part of the week getting to class early and working on my left handed ceshoufans for a new move I learned in Level 2. As we all know it is not my strong side. I spent over an hour in L2 on Friday doing cartwheels over and over and over again and still not getting it. I know what to do; I know not to be scared; but my body is just retarded and won't obey me. I really started to get angry at one point. It's so frustrating to not be able to do something so basic even after spending half the class doing nothing else. I tried to focus my anger into chi but I just got worse.

I am terrible about getting really angry at myself when I mess something up. In kung fu this hasn't been as bad because the mental training has helped me mature beyond internal tantrums, (mostly), but there were several times this week when I was learning something new, or even going back to something I already know when I just got so frustrated I wanted to hit something. It was somewhere around my 500th ceshoufan that I realized that this anger was actually holding me back. I couldn't "use" that anger to train better because I was just going into the whole thing with the wrong attitude. It was weighing me down. After all, I didn't decide to train every day because I wanted to be angry at myself for not being perfect at things. I trained because it's fun to work at getting better. I guess this is a fairly straightforward revelation, but I had always operated under the understanding that you could focus anger or frustration as energy in what you were doing. But for me at least, I realized it was just making me worse, and that what I actually had to do was let it go entirely.

Once I started to focus on having fun and being happy that I was learning I already felt lighter. My ceshoufans improved dramatically in how they felt and even some in how they look. :) Of course, I got to the point (today that is) where what I really needed to make things better is a little rest. But it was good to remember that training harder does not mean you have to take yourself too seriously. However, I seriously am enjoying resting my legs. :)

Kung Fu Kitties?

Kung Fu Panda?

A new animated flick -- "Kung Fu Panda" -- is coming out next Summer:

Refining

In class yesterday, during forms, Heng Ji and I were on the floor doing erluquan when Sifu told us to stop. Then he had everyone in the forms line work on their arm rotations and do erluquan for him individually while he corrected us as we went. Even when an older student who had been teaching came over to do a quick form, Sifu had them do the same thing. It was a reminder that even the older, more advanced students can slip into bad habits, and that no matter how long you’ve been training there’s always refining that needs to be done even on a Level 1 form.

It’s hard to remember every detail of each move every single time you do it. But there are definitely places where I’m making the same errors again and again. Also it’s interesting to see the places where we all have compensated the same way, or are making the same mistake. It was good to work those things out; I feel like my erluquan is gradually getting stronger and cleaner. Yet if yesterday taught me anything, it will always be able to get even stronger and even cleaner no matter how far I get.

The Motivator

Leo gave some interesting thoughts on motivations for beginning training and continuing to train. Specifically he was discussing the difference between men and women and retention, but I began thinking about the reason(s) I started training and how they are similar or different to the ones I have to continue training, both in terms of the long term commitment as well as what gets me to temple daily. We've talked a lot about why we train now: the challenge, the community, the mental training, the benefits to our personal well being, and the straight up exercise. But for me at least, I started training for different reasons than those that motivate me now.My initial impulse to come train was borne of 2 things 1) I had lots of free time and I was bored 2)I wanted to look cool doing kung fu at parties. Secret number 3 was that I wanted to become a contract killer.......... The free time is now gone (yes I'm working again). I have found I feel un -coordinated more that I feel cool when training; and if anything the more I learn the more I'm humbled about the lifetime of learning left. And, I don't want to be a contract killer anymore..... But clearly I still train; funny how things change like that. You always get more than you bargained for. I'd be interested to know what prompted other folks to start training (exercise? party trick? followed a friend/boyfriend/family member?) and whether that's the same motivator they have now.

(Also, I love the Buddhist-y cyclical nature of how you train for a reason but training changes your reasons for training so you train more and then your motivations change again and so on and so forth...)

Girl Power

I've always found it mildly irritating when girls come to train kung fu and they use the fact that they're female to sort of train halfway. You know the giggly, oh I'm embarrassed, sweat? what's that? kind of thing. I've never been a super girly girl, and always fairly sporty, so I never got that whole mentality. Of course we are all self conscious our first time out, but for some girls the silliness never goes away though the girls eventually do.

Last night, however, I felt like a dumb girl for the first time. L2 is like going back to those first days of L1 where everyone is intimidatingly better than you. But it's not quite the same because you do know a little bit, plus you know the people there and have a few newbies taking the ride the same time as you. My last class however, we were learning a strike, a pretty rudimentary straight punch, and I just couldn't seem to get it.

Training is a lot of kicking, and we don't do that many strikes in L1. Or if we do they're attached to a kick or stance. I was just very conscious of the fact that I did not know how to punch properly and I felt very conspicuous over in the back watching myself in the mirror. I felt, well, like a silly girl who's never punched someone unless you count the time I punched a boy on the playground when I was 12. Instead of giggling and giving up though, I got angry at myself for being so dumb and focused harder on our drill. I don't think I was looking like Muhammad Ali by the end there, but I think it definitely looked better than at the beginning.

So now I have a little more sympathy for the so called "silly girls" who feel lost when doing something new to them. And while kung fu has helped obliterate a lot of my painful self consciousness, I got a reminder that there is still plenty left to get over, but will get over if I just keep focusing on my goal. Plus, it's ok to be girly; we smell better.

"Train, Train, Go Away"

Whenever I first wake up, I never want to train. On the border of sleep and awake getting out of bed seems quite unappealing if not totally impossible. Of course once I'm up for ten minutes then I'm fine. But today, waking up after a night out to a gray rainy day, I decided to roll over, snuggle deeper into my comforter, and snooze until noon.

WHAT? "Now way. I have taken two days off because I felt a little under the weather, but I was getting my lazy ass out of bed and training no matter what. I threw myself out of bed, and in under fifteen minutes, cooked and ate breakfast, got dressed, got my bag together, brushed my teeth and ran out the door.

I can't train tomorrow, which means that Monday would be 4 days since my last class. That's less frequent training than when I was working full time. We simply can't have that. Class was very humid, and the last vestiges of my cold left me feeling woozy and lethargic, but it was a fun class and by the end I felt stronger than at the beginning. After all that bitching and moaning my Shaolin whatever sword was tight but not excessively troublesome and my shinsplints took a brief respite. Then, instead of booking it home to curl back in bed I stayed for a really great Buddhism class then helped do some storage reorganization with the demo team practicing in the background. It was a good reminder how many different kinds of training I get when I walk into temple: physical training, mental training, spiritual training, community training, and inspirational training watching those I admire. Those are the things that I need to remember to make the next hauling out of bed a little less melodramatic.