These boots were made for walkin'...

Today when I got to temple I was tired. I took the day off of work, woke up early and did laundry, then spent the rest of the day hanging out with a friend. We started off at Columbus Circle, and over the course of the day zigged and zagged our way all the way downtown. We covered something like 70+ blocks, and when we arrived at Canal around 6 I did not have the chi. I was actually sleeping on my bag as we sat in Starbucks. I used to trek all over the city all the time, but ever since I started my 9-5 I don't get to as much, and I forgot how tiring and dehydrating sauntering around in the sun for 6 hours can be. But I couldn't very well find myself at Canal and Broadway at 6 on a Thursday and not go train. Especially after lugging my bag around all day.

I'm so glad, as always, that I overcame my lameness and trained. It was a lovely night, big class, and lots of people doing a trial so I felt urged on to extra chi. Another inspiring element was the posting of the testing schedule. My name with "erluquan" written next to it reminded me how very near testing is, and how much I want to do well. Even better, lots of my fellow dorks are scheduled at the same time so we'll be there to boost one another's chi. I'm trying to do erluquan all the way through at least once every class to work out the endurance, then do it in pieces so I can focus on refining the tiny tricky bits. It's starting to feel more comfortable. So maybe, when I try it in a class that does not follow six hours of walking, it'll feel even better.

:-D

Last night Shifu pulled me to the side after seeing me doing Erluquan and corrected a few of my moves. Right before he started, he said "Not bad but you need to...bakjdhsfkjewhsadfldjskfjpwoe..."

Not bad!

Not bad!

Shifu said I was NOT bad!

I was so happy - excited - exhilarated. I thought my need of approval has been worked out with my therapist but I guess it's still there. After the class I was told that my face was beaming the whole time - punching - kicking - crouching - or doing whatever I was taught.

Heeee hee heee

I think these are what he told me:

• At the very beginning of Erluquan and at the end when I whip my left hand up to my chest and right hand 45 degrees behind me, my left palm needs to face down rather than facing out to the front. Also don't keep the left hand too close to my chest.


• After the sweep and arms rotation into Pubu, going into Mabu my left palm should be in the same position as above as the right fist goes into chamber. Then as I get up with my left leg and knee up, slide my right fist over left palm which moves to my right armpit. Keep my right arm straight right next to my ear and look left. After 2 skips, to go into Mabu right before the 5-kicks, head should follow my left hand which rotates downward and up. Then look right as I punch with my right fist.


• After the Pubu following Waibaitui, twist my right hand, arm and leg just like I would my left hand, arm and leg after the Pubu following the 5-kicks but the other way.... This is a little confusing but it made sense when he explained it to me last night...

Dork Profile... #6!

Name: Whitney
Temple Name: Heng Mo, Tres Bien, Keeper of Turtles
Occupation: Director of Construction Mitigation
Borough: BK, Holla!
Chinese Sign: Fire Dragon

When was the last time you trained? Last night-- Tuesday, 18 September

How is your commute to the temple? From work: 15-minute walk up Broadway, during which time I do some thinking or make some social calls on my cellular telephone. From home: One stop over the bridge on the Magical Q Train. It is a beautiful commute, no matter how you slice it.

How did you learn about the temple? And what made you start training? A friend, the amazing Heng N'ou, introduced me to Shifu and Temple. I saw Level 2 testing and was left with a deep impression. My then-boss and I met with Shifu a few months later to try and help with a real estate matter. On both occasions, Shifu invited me to train. I felt it was an honor to be asked, but it took me a few more months of incubating the idea before I actually made it to Temple. After 11 years of yoga, and a pervasive blah feeling about my gym membership, I was eager for a new physical focus. Training at Temple fit the bill in every way I could have imagined, and well beyond.

When did you start training? March 2006

What is your favourite basic move? Waibaitui. It is so satisfying.

What injuries have you had from training? Yeah, the Shaolin Butt Sword is still around, having celebrated its first year haunting my butt. Happy birthday, SBS! My latest favorite (this is so embarrassing) is that I have been elbowing my own shin during Cetitui. My alignment is off, but I am working on it. One time Heng Zhou punched me in the lip because I was too close to him in line during Mabu. My parents were at Temple watching, and were horrified. I guarantee it was not worse than what I've been doing to my own shin though.

What's the most important lesson you learn from training? There are humbling lessons in everything. Cleaning the mirrors: if you notice an imperfection, try and fix it. Stand back to get perspective on what needs to be fixed. In line during basics: See yourself in every fellow student-- and see everyone else in yourself, from brand-new and endearingly clumsy, to the most graceful and powerful. We cheer each other on because we are all connected-- everything spreads-- competitive chi, aggressive chi, supportive chi, light-hearted chi, loving chi... Even in the changing room: Come prepared, be on time, honor yourself and your body, and the world, by treating yourself well, keeping healthy and sharp.

Soup or no soup? I love soup. I have a psychological blockage training internal-style, but I'm okay with that. Training encouraged me to lift my 10-year embargo on meat-eating, so I am quite patient with the rate at which I've made changes in what I consume. I've really enjoyed overhauling the wardrobe of my diet.

Shower or no shower? Usually not.
Gatorade or water? Water and emergen-c.
How many uniforms? 2 blues.
Straddle or wall stretch? Before: only wall. Now: Only straddle. The transition has been intense. I like all the moral support during stretching.

Cool down....

I feel like I need some extraordinary post now that I've finished erluquan. ***cymbals, cheering, birds singing, trumpets rainbows, the music of all the heavenly host*** After all the anticipation, the buildup, the anxiety, the debates, and everything that have come up as we have been posting our progress, I want to express some cathartic revelation that has occured. But with discipling and family stuff, it has somewhat lost precedence from the things prioritizing my mind the last 24 hours. Which is not to say I am not SUPER stoked about finishing and the prospect of having three weeks to practice before testing. But commitment to training was a huge part of my becoming a disciple, and I think that I'm re-settling on the opinion that being able to train at all, no matter what I'm working on, is so fun, so challenging, so beautiful, that erluquan in all its glory, can be there or not, so long as I get to train harder. Of course, as I commented to Sucheela, it's easy to say things like that once you're done. :) But I really think that I sort got caught up in tangible evidence of progress instead of recognizing the progress I've already made and enjoying what I've learned (and so much too!) in the past 15 months. And now that I'm done, the places in the form I feel weakest are the parts I've known for some time. (*cough* the sweep). Reminder that I need to remember the present and not always be caught up the future, which is a problem I have in and out of temple. Yay lessons. But, nonetheless, (and recognizing that I need to polish my everything) here are the things I want to make sure to focus on in the next few weeks: sweep, everything about it, powerful but CONTROLLED strikes, deeper stances, especially my pubus, always looking far, not down, and spreading my chi through my whole form, not just in the 5 kicks. Good times are ahead, dorks. No wait, the good times are now.

And for those who want to see some bald disciple pics, go here. Hopefully it will help keep me cooler in training.

Headlines from the front....

NEW YORK, NY: Hannah (now known as Heng Cheng) has finished erluquan. Also she has no hair. More on this breaking story as reports come in....

Girls kick ass!

Interesting read on girls learning boxing in Thailand in Sunday's New York Times.

"It's the wood that should fear your hand!"

We don't do much, or really anything, that involves contact in class. At least we don't in Level 1. So unless someone accidentally hits you in line, the person most likely to hurt you is, well, you. Now and again I've noticed I get shin splints from landing wrong in my jumps or bruise my feet from hitting them during caijiao/lunbi caijiao, but mostly these things go away after a bit of corrective modification. The last few classes my latest pain has come from stomping. I first notice a little pain in my right leg when I'm landing erqijiaos, straining my calf from landing too hard. Then immediately after, during the pubu chuanzhang, whilst stomping, the pain shoots up the back of my calf making it near-impossible to resist grimacing. This pretty much sets up a series of identical, and increasingly sharper pains during the stomps in forms, until I have to "air-stomp" and easy my way into gongbus to avoid doing myself a serious injury. Silly Hannah, what are you doing?

Richu made the comment that I should be hurting the floor, the floor shouldn't be hurting me. That made me think of "Kill Bill" where Uma is putting her fist through the fat hunk of wood. Now, I don't need to be punching through walls or beating people up, but the point remains, what good is any kind of strike if I'm just hurting myself? I'm not quite sure what I'm doing wrong, and I don't know why it's manifesting as a pain in my calf instead of a shin splint or something. Still, I will make a concerted effort to figure out the logic of hurting the floor since the last thing I want to do is limp through testing. Or really limp anywhere. If I have to, I will stomp right through to the cafe below us. More chi! Stomp harder!

PUSH!!!

As I mentioned recently, testing is October 6th-7th, and time is a-ticking. So I am inching my way forth in erluquan, a good number of moves past five kicks now, and some tell me I am oh-so-close to completing it. I have avoided focusing on the end, preferring to work on what I'm being taught at that present moment. But as the days draw closer, I am forced to ponder it some more because it is becoming more apparent that I'm really not that far. It is do-able...right?

Part of my reluctance to look too far forward is a desire to learn it right, meaning, waiting patiently for someone to teach me during class, in Temple. The natural progression of things. But that also means sometimes going through an entire two hour session without learning something new in erluquan if I'm not called upon to work with someone. So, I've found myself trying to study the folks ahead of me as they do erluquan, hoping to pick up the next move or two. I am not confident in my ability to 'fake' my way through, however.

So, is it cheating when I ask someone outside of class for a pointer or two in refining what I've picked up myself? Am I breaking the rules, specifically, #16, which states that we ought not ask other students to teach us? (Although, a loophole would suggest that these are rules of conduct during class, thereby making anything outside of class okay -- I'm such a lawyer!) Or, is that part of the game too -- using my own eyes and brain and body, and pushing myself to learn versus just being passive and waiting?

I am conflicted. My primary goal is to learn erluquan correctly, and it should be done regardless of whatever deadline is looming in the future. But, such a deadline can be useful if it serves as the impetus for me pushing myself to train harder. And it's not about being competitive with others, but with myself.

In tossing this all about my head I am also wondering if my hesitation is due to a fear of failure. If I don't push myself to complete erluquan, I therefore will not be able to test for it and will therefore fall back onto another six months of Level 1 training. While another six months of training would do a body good, I don't want to think that I'm somehow tricking myself into forgoing this opportunity to advance by being complacent -- by hiding behind the idea that whatever happens, happens.

Instead, this is how I think I'm gonna approach the upcoming weeks: no matter what, I want to learn erluquan because it's been long enough, dammit. I can totally do it, and I will (I hope). And I'm not gonna give up on executing it as well as possible. Even if I don't have the entire sequence of moves down, I don't have to forget about being crisp and sharp. Whether I pass or fail is irrelevant to my desire to push myself and train harder in attaining the end of erluquan. But I will do it, to give myself a chance.

As I lay me down to sleep...

I've been thinking a lot the past few days about why I train. As this blog has established, training makes me very happy. Usually, I'm not one to question happiness, I'll take what I get, but it's curious that something that can hurt so much, that can be so challenging and exhausting keeps bringing me back. I love everyone at temple, of course, but what it really comes down to is how I feel during class and how it makes me feel outside of the temple. There's the obvious: I feel in shape, I feel strong, I can eat all the cupcakes I want without (too much) guilt. While I'm in class what I feel is hot and tired. But those things are all the surface aspects of training. What makes me happy are the things training churns around underneath. All the things we're asked to do, train harder, be honest, push yourself, and so forth, have done a lot to get me to understand myself better, and though in class I am panting and dreaming of lemonade, underneath I'm thinking about challenging and mastering myself and so forth, and that has turned out to help me in and out of temple.

I know it's different for everyone, but to me, training is about seeing yourself very clearly; you're forced to be honest, whether learning something surprising about yourself or seeing things you already knew but can't always admit. In my case it's knowing when I'm cutting corners, knowing when I am focusing on the wrong goals, being too competitive, being unfocused, and being impatient. But also understanding when I'm happy and what things actually matter to me. I focus on those things as I train, and now I'm better able to identify them in my daily life as well. It's not about "finding yourself" in the after-school-special sense. It's taking the self you have and, as Niederwelt has said, clearing away all the b.s. and understanding what you've got left. I know that's not a new concept or anything, just tonight I guess it really struck me, with testing coming up, and me trying to focus on all the little problems in all my moves and forms, and consequently doing so at work and at home. Coming to the realization that, while you don't always learn the things you expect or want to know, you end up learning the things you need to know. So for now, I guess that's why I train and why I keep coming back for more. That and the cupcakes...

Heng Ji's Post Shaolin Retreat Wrap-up

Amituofo! Heng Ji has so graciously decided to share her experiences this past weekend at the retreat with us via a guest entry!

I sit here smiling, trying to stretch out my left hip, my right shoulder blade, my shins, wrist and neck, all of which are aching in response to the first of what I hope will be many Shaolin weekend retreats. Already, I am happily mentally preparing my bags for the next one.

The ten t-shirts and three uniforms I felt would be more than plenty proved to be woefully insufficient by mid-day Sunday when I was already down to two t-shirts and had lunch, another kung fu class, a Buddhism class and a certificate ceremony to go. For lunch I ended up wearing my bikini top under my night shirt, and for the rest of the day, a tank top under my sweaty uniform top.

For the next trip, I will add sixteen tops, six pairs of socks and two different types of training shoes. I will require alcohol swabs, Aleve, band-aids and a flashlight. I will leave the alarm clock, books, iPod and cell phone at home.

As everyone experiences things differently and lessons are learned as they are needed, I will share some I have discovered/rediscovered this weekend:

Lessons Learned:

(1) Shaolin Time is not subject to 9,192,631,770 oscillations of cesium atom's resonant frequency (thank you, Shifu).

(2) Shaolin Time should not be limited to only Shaolin experiences.

(3) Honor the gifts which Shifu offers us by reviewing and living those daily (thank you, Shifu).

(4) Practicing five chi kung movements for five minutes in the morning is roughly equivalent to ten minutes of weight training.

(5) Stopping for cupcakes should be part of the outing (thank you, Heng De).

(6) Creating personal challenges while training helps you experience it in a different way (thank you, Heng Han)...

(7) ...as does focusing on keeping a foot grounded while holding stances during forms (thank you, Heng Wei).

(8) GPS systems rock (thank you, Richu).

(9) Talking to your friends are beautiful meditations and can guide you to answer questions you didn’t realize you had (thank you, Heng Jian, Heng Shang, Heng Li, Heng Fa and Janice).

Goals:

(1) To work on my strength by practicing five Chi kung movements twice a day.

(2) To be able to take a few steps on my hands by the end of year.

(3) To work toward getting at least 6 hours of sleep per night.