FIRE!!!

I've been thinking a lot about how every time I tell Shifu about an injury he just says "no problem. train harder." I know that we are supposed to work through the pain, accept it and use it to make us stronger but most times it still distracts me.

I'm still dealing with my shin splints. They're getting better by the day but there are definitely days where I don't warm up enough and they really hurt. It's the kind of pain that seeps into my subconscious and affects my confidence. The other day I got sick of the pain holding me back. I was so frustrated I felt on fire! It was my turn to do Xuan Feng Jiao. I took a deep breath took my strides and launched! I have no idea how well I did the kick but I felt on FIRE!! I could feel my Dan Tian pulsating! I had energy in every part of my body! I was relaxed but had an incredible desire to move! My turn came again and again and again. I didn't want to stop. Then we stopped jumping and moved onto the next move. At that moment I realized that my shins didn't hurt anymore. Shifu was right!! I trust Shifu's advice implicitly but I don't usually understand it until much later. In the immortal words in Rick Moranis in Spaceballs "when will then be now!?", I wish I got his lessons a bit faster. Now when Shifu yells "FIRE" at us I'll let loose the nitros and CaiJiao until I puke!

Everybody Hurts

Tornado Alley

I don't usually get to lead Level 2 lines. There are far more talented and chi-tastic people who should be up front. Last night, in Level 2, I found myself up front. Nothing was particularly special until we got to 旋風腳 (Tornadoes). It was my first time leading while doing a tornado and for some reason, I felt an unbelievable build up of chi. So, I said, "What the heck! I'm gonna bring it!" I wanted to see how many tornadoes I can do in a row. First time down the line, I got two, third time down, I got three. I lost count how many tornadoes I did. I was in Tornado Alley and storms were touching down all over the map. What I do remember is kicking myself in the teeth(they still hurt by the way). After a few times down the line where I was combo-ing 3 tornadoes in a row, Hwalan, who led class, stopped everyone and said, "Leo, can you show us what you're doing?"

I then proceeded to break down my technique for the tornado and show how I was able to get it using exercises and drills I've developed for myself. As all of you know, I've been tornado obsessed ever since I started Level 2. In order to perfect it, I've been doing my drills over and over again. They have helped me create the storm and I hope I was able to share it last night.

There was one final lesson I forgot to mention to class. And that is, "You gotta want it! You gotta really really WANT it! Every time you fall, you are getting closer to learning how to fly!"

Amituofo!

Can't Help It! - Second Anniversary

If you ever wondered what the heck people yell out while training, I have a history for you - at least one of them.

Can't Help It!

I can't claim to come up with the phrase. Shifu did. But may I say the dorks popularized it because we can't help being so beautiful?

The Kip-Up

I make no exaggeration when I say, "the kip-up epitomizes my existence." Let me explain. Ever since I was a child, I have wanted to do the kip-up. I was exposed to Kung Fu at a very young age and Kung Fu soap-dramas was all I watched. They always did amazing feats with their bodies but there was one move that always astounded me, the kip-up. To go from being flat on the ground to standing on two legs in a mere flash. To be defenseless and then all of a sudden, ready for battle. I tried on my own many times with my tiny body. I flopped helplessly over and over again. I thought it must be magic. I gave up.

When I started training at temple, the fiery desire to do the kip-up was ignited anew. I saw it on the list of moves that you get to learn in Level 2. I couldn't wait to learn it. I passed the test for Level 2 almost 1 year ago which means I've been trying to do the kip-up for almost a year. This past week, I got it.

There's a split second where the mind must erase all doubt. Only then will you be able to get up. That infinitesimal fraction is the most important thing. It is the division of greatness and mediocrity. The whole world is in that space and in that time. I could spend lifetimes there and not even begin to bear witness to its genius. It is through that darkness can you then be bathed in light.

The journey of learning the kip-up has been absolutely wonderful. New challenges, new thrills, new paradigms have been enveloped by it. These days, I can't wait to fall down, so I can kip-up back up again.

"In rain during a dark night, enter that darkness." -Shiva

Amituofo!

This Is Why I Train

It changed over the year. At the beginning, it was to stop thinking - for at least two hours during class. I was obsessed with my doomed relationship and self-pity. I was on a verge of depression. I learned to be present and mindful of things around me rather than just stayed in my own head.

And then I got over it.

I opened up and got to know more people at the temple. I realized I did not have to pretend to be accepted and liked. I could have friends I liked and liked me back for who I was in New York City! At the time, I trained because I was lonely. I wanted to make friends. I learned to open up and be comfortable with myself.

And then I started liking myself. I didn't need to be around people to not be lonely anymore.

Then it's because of Kungfu. I kept training because I wanted to be good. I wanted to kiss my toes and do all kinds of cool things other people can do. I liked learning and pushing my body to do things I never imagined doing. I remember the first time I did Ceshoufan. I had a surgery on the left shoulder not more than a year prior. I was mortified. But I did it. I liked the rush I had after the class - the feeling of accomplishing something difficult. I learned to be humble and confident at the same time.

And then that stopped too. I have been training only in Level 1 with the same routines over and over. I hardly do anything new anymore. I learned to find ways to improve what I know. I keep telling myself I can always learn - not a new move or a new form - but about myself. But that sometime wavers.

I still keep training at least 3 times a week. And I ask myself - why? What do I like so much about being there that even crumbling knees cannot stop me?

I think it's the positive energy - the chi. It's infectious. It makes me a positive and happy person. Maybe I do believe that through training I will one day understand myself. Or maybe I'm just addicted to pain.

Why do you train?

Pushing the Limits

Pushing the Limit is a NY Times series of articles and multimedia profiling athletes who confront an opponent that must be mastered, not beaten.

I found this week's article really encouraging. It is about a runner that has gotten better with age, not worse. Matt Carpenter's training philosophy is similar to ours. "Go out hard; when it hurts, speed up."

Link to Article

All My Remedies

I can't imagine the days that I am free of knee pain. I have been living with it for so long. The pain level fluctuated over the years depending on how much I trained. I tried all kinds of magic potions and nothing seemed to work. This is like a curse. It's like "great flexibility comes with great pain."

My first knee pain was accompanied by a lower back pain in the middle of learning Erluquan. I went to a chiropractor. He said I was fucked. My built-for-child-bearing hips weren't straight and therefore screwed up my knees, spines and neck. I kept going to have my spines adjusted and popped for about 3 months with neither lower back or knee pains going away. So I stopped.

Then I went to an Orthopedist. He felt up my knees for about 2 seconds and pronounced my knees Chodromalacia and gave me a prescription for physical therapy for 3 months. So I went to a physical therapy for 3 months during which I hardly trained at all. The therapist ordered me not to do anything i.e. no walking on the beach, no wearing flipflops, no high-heel shoes, no swimming, no biking, no long walk, no running, and no kungfu. I listened to him 75% of the time. I exercised my knees and iced them half religiously.

After the 3 doing-nothing months, I went back to my orthopedist. The pain still didn't go away. He sent me to an MRI. The result showed that everything was fine except that I had huge inflammation under both kneecaps. So he injected Steroid into my knees. The pain went away completely for 3 days and came back when I went back to training.

I stopped going to that doctor.

Not all was lost however, I found out that my problem was the inflammation under the kneecaps. I just have to get rid of it. Patricia (Heng Zheng) told me about Arnica Gel - a homeopathic that helps reduce inflammation. I started using it religiously. It's great for bruises and other kinds of swell but not my knees. I also started using knee braces while training. They reduced impact on my knees a bit during jumping but they are very cumbersome for moves like Xiebu or Zhengtantui.

By this point, my knees are so swollen that I could not bend my knees totally. I grew up sitting with my legs folded and squatting. I could not do either of that anymore because it would hurt too much. I was losing my Asian squat...

I started taking Glucosamine with Chondroitin and MSM -- without any pain reducing result. I also got into a habit of taking Ibuprofen before training so that I could do certain knee-crunching moves with out too much pain.

Recently, Natalie told me about FlexNow - a supplement made from Shea Butter - that she took and had successful anti-inflammation result. So I started taking that too.

Shifu suggested that I stop using knee braces, stop jumping and do more stretching and kicking. So I did just that. In the past two weeks I only trained Level 1 classes and got out of the lines when other people jumped.

Currently, with all these supplements in my body and no jumping, I think my pain level went down a notch. The pain is still there especially when I walk down the stairs. I still can't totally fold my knees but my Xiebu becomes a little more comfortable. So I guess I'm heading toward the right path.

During my last 2 years combating this knee problem, the only time that I was totally pain free was toward the end of my India trip. I did not train at all for about 5 weeks. I had no problem running up and down steps. I hope it doesn't come to choosing between training and my knees. Hopefully, I will find a middle ground where the knees can make peace with Kungfu.

Pubu Bootcamp

I was asked to teach Pubu last night. So automatically, I taught my students like how I was taught - rotating arms and jumping into it on one side, then rotating arms in reverse and jumping into another Pubu on the other side. And of course nobody understood what I was doing.

Shifu told me to show my poor students slowly. I did. And got extremely confused. Eventually, Shifu laughed, told me to stop and showed me how to do it.

And here's how: see page 196 to 197 in The Shaolin Workout.

Start with arms by your sides and feet together, body up straight. Cross your arms like when you start Tsabu or Fanyao - right arm on top. Rotate until the left arm is by your ear and right arm by your thigh. Eyes follow the right arm. Cross the arms by your sash and lift your left foot. Go into Pubu on the left.

From there to go into the next Pubu, keep your back foot in place. Come up from your front foot and take a step so that your feet are together. At the same time cross your arms with the left one on top. Rotate to the left until the right arm is by your ear and left by your thigh. Tug arms and lift the right foot. Eyes follow the left. Go into Pubu on the right.

Repeat on the other side.

A few pointers that Shifu gave us: cross arms at your sash height - not at your chest. Lift your leg high and point your toes before going into Pubu. While in Pubu, keep your body up and reach pass your front foot. Chamber the other hand in fist at your waist.

Pain is weakness leaving the body!

On Wednesday, I engaged in kip-up madness. Because of a tweaked right shoulder, I've been avoiding using my arms to assist in propelling me forward. I think I made some significant progress, thanks to Jian's pointer that I use more of my head to push myself up. Scratch that, I know I made some progress because man, have I felt it in my abs, neck and back muscles lately. I almost didn't train tonight's L2 because of my stiffness, but happily, Mo urged me on. Glad I did cos it loosened me up, I think, but then again, I'm sure I'll feel some other pain tomorrow, like maybe in my hips due to learning biantui. :)

Here's a video I found on YouTube showing how to do a kip-up using no hands. I plan on watching this a million times. And then practicing it a million more.